пятница, 14 декабря 2012 г.

The Christmas Cat-astrophe

By Christy Westbrook

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
~Janice Maeditere

"She's not coming, is she?" I knew by the look on my mom's face as she hung up the phone that my grandma wasn't coming for Christmas. Ever since we destroyed her decorations last Christmas, things just hadn't been the same.
It all started last year on Thanksgiving Day. We had just finished stuffing ourselves full of turkey. The twins were wrestling over the large end of the wishbone when my Aunt Melinda walked in carrying one of Grandma's old hats.

"Everyone needs to draw a name. That's who you'll buy a present for this Christmas."

"What?" Uncle Dan hollered.

"Listen," Aunt Melinda explained. "Our family has grown so large that it's hard to buy something for everyone. We thought this might help relieve some of the burden."

"Burden!" Aunt Mary Beth snarled. "I realize that I have more children than the rest of you," she went on while motioning to the twins who were still duking it out on the floor and her three daughters who were slowly lowering their cell phones to listen in on this conversation, "but I never realized that we had become a burden."

"Now, now," Grandma stepped in. "Never have any of my darlings been anything of a burden. It's just that... well... I'm not getting any younger, and you all are always so busy. Your sister just thought it might be easier on all of us if we didn't have to buy quite so much this year."

"Well, I've never heard of such a ridiculous idea," Uncle Dan bellowed. "No offense, Mama, but I thought Christmas was supposed to be a time of giving... to all, not just one person."

"So... who gets to buy Mama's present?" my mom asked.

"Well, whoever draws her name," Aunt Melinda answered.

"Humph!" Uncle Dan snorted as he pushed back from the table, knocking over half-empty glasses of water and sweet tea. Grandma's favorite cat, Snookums, had been sleeping under the table and shrieked as someone stepped on her tail. She scurried into the kitchen. My cousins and I snickered as Grandma flew after the cat, yelling, "My sweet little dumpling! I'm so sorry."

"Dan, watch what you're doing!" Aunt Mary Beth yelled, snatching up the fallen glasses and dabbing at the spills with her napkin.

"Dan, I just gave Mama that tablecloth for her birthday. Now it's ruined. Why do you have to be so difficult?" Aunt Melinda yelled.

"You know what?" Uncle Dan replied. "I'm done with this. Happy Thanksgiving everyone." He turned and walked toward the door.

"Dan, you haven't drawn a name yet."

"Oh, whatever, Melinda. Just pick one for me. I don't care."

"Fine," Aunt Melinda huffed.

"Love you, Mama!" Uncle Dan called as he stormed out the front door.

Christmas Eve arrived, and we all came to Grandma's house with our "one" present. Everyone, that is, except for Uncle Dan. He showed up with a truckload of gifts. He brought something for everyone and even a few extra, which was great since Aunt Mary Beth's girls brought their boyfriends.

Aunt Melinda was fit to be tied when she saw Uncle Dan come in with an armful of presents. She started snatching boxes and throwing them under the tree.

"Hey, watch it, Melinda!" Uncle Dan hollered. "Some of those are breakable."

"Oh, excuse me, Danny Boy. I didn't mean to ruin all your fun."

"Oh, build a bridge and get over it, Smelly Melly."

"We were having a nice time until you got here. Why do you always have to stir something up?"

"Me?" Uncle Dan yelled. "I'm not the old Scrooge who decided to be stingy with the gifts."

"Come on, you two," my mom interrupted. "It's Christmas Eve. Can't you at least try to get along? Look at the example you're setting for the kids."

"I guess you're right, sis. I'm sorry," Uncle Dan answered.

"I'm sorry, too... Danny Boy," Aunt Melinda chided while Uncle Dan glared back.

The rest of the night, Aunt Melinda sat in the corner pouting while everyone "oohed" and "ahhed" over Uncle Dan's gifts.

My dad and my uncles spent most of the night setting up the new surround sound that Uncle Dan bought for Grandma. Mom and Aunt Mary Beth sat in the kitchen discussing what to do about the neighbor who Grandma suspected was stealing her Sunday papers. Aunt Mary Beth's daughters flirted with their boyfriends. We did our best to avoid collisions with the remote-controlled helicopters the twins flew all over the house. I pretended to listen as Grandma showed me our family album for the one-hundredth time.


Dad turned on the surround sound but didn't realize the volume was on high. The blast from every corner of the room caused Grandma to wail and fling the family album into the air. It landed on Snookums, who'd been resting at Grandma's feet. The poor cat let out a howl like I've never heard before and leaped smack dab into the Christmas tree. As the tree toppled over, the red and gold angel that stood peacefully atop Grandma's tree for as long as I could remember took flight and landed right in the middle of the fireplace. It went up in flames as we all watched in horror.

The adults started fussing and blaming each other while trying to clean up broken ornaments and salvage family pictures. We just tried to stay out of the way. Finally, Grandma told us to leave. We hadn't had a family gathering since then.

So here we were a year later, and it didn't look like Grandma was coming to Christmas.

"Well, is she coming or not?" I asked again impatiently.

"Grandma... had a heart attack," my mom answered, her voice beginning to quiver. "She collapsed in the grocery store, and the paramedics are rushing her to the hospital. Go get your coat while I call Uncle Dan."

When we got to the hospital, most of the family was already there. Everyone was hugging and crying and trying to figure out what had happened. Uncle Dan rushed through the door just as the doctor came in.

"Is she going to be alright?" Aunt Melinda asked.

"Yes," the doctor answered. "We're running some tests on her heart to determine the extent of the damage. She hit her head pretty hard when she fell and has suffered a mild concussion. She's resting now, but a few of you at a time can go in to see her."

Uncle Dan and Aunt Melinda stepped forward at the same time. The rest of us held our breath. And then, do you know what happened? They looked at each other and said, "You go first."

Grandma ended up spending Christmas in the hospital, but believe it or not, we all got along. We brought presents to Grandma's room, and Uncle Dan snuck Snookums in when the nurses weren't looking. Don't get me wrong, the tension was still there just under the surface, but we all realized something important that year. Although we may have our differences, we are still family, and we need each other. We may have to work a little bit harder at getting along, but if it makes Grandma happy, it's worth it.
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