By Ben Kennedy
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
~Michael Leunig
As the holiday season of 2003 approached, my girlfriend Kerri couldn't stop yammering on about Christmases at home. I remember becoming increasingly annoyed with her stories, and although she never noticed, I'm sure she would've understood.
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
~Michael Leunig
As the holiday season of 2003 approached, my girlfriend Kerri couldn't stop yammering on about Christmases at home. I remember becoming increasingly annoyed with her stories, and although she never noticed, I'm sure she would've understood.
On November 30, 1995, years before she met me, my father and half-brother left this world. And with that tragedy being so close to December, it really cast a dark cloud over the holidays for me. I also always spent them alone until now. This Christmas however, I had Kerri and her joy for the holidays, her love of her family, and her giddy excitement over what had become just December 25th to me.
Although I was depressed, I was still very much in love, and I didn't want to ruin our first Christmas living together. That's when I bought us two bus tickets from Baltimore, Maryland to Charleston, South Carolina. Sure the Scrooge in me wanted to see just how great these Christmases at home were, but also Kerri couldn't have been happier, and I enjoyed making her happy. After all, this was the woman I planned to marry.
Speaking of marriage, we had been talking of getting engaged for months, so I told her, "Maybe this Christmas I'll talk to your father in person about marrying you."
She replied, "This is going to be the best Christmas ever!"
I was hoping she was right. Because unbeknownst to her, I had already bought an engagement ring.
It was now two days before Christmas and that 600-mile ride on the bus was everything you'd expect it to be: cramped, stuffy, long, and kind of miserable. For me, you can add "nerve-wracking" to that list, as my mind was focused on "the talk," then the proposal if "the talk" went well, and the fact that the ring was in my duffel bag under the bus. You had better believe that whenever passengers were beginning or ending their bus trip during our eighteen-hour ride, and bags were coming on and off of the bus, I was pressed against that window watching like a hawk.
That night when we finally arrived in Charleston, and we pulled up to Kerri's parents' house, I saw bright, shiny Christmas lights and lit-up reindeer. We walked inside and everything Kerri spoke of in her many stories was there. And I tried to be as excited as Kerri, but after being on a bus since 5 AM, I was only interested in one thing: sleep.
Christmas Eve was a blur of catching up with Kerri's family, calling her friends to let them know we were in town, and then visiting with some of those friends. Later that night, when Kerri and I were lying in bed, I told her that I thought that tomorrow morning I would finally "talk to him." She cuddled up close, and while still clueless about my plan, she sensed my nervousness and said, "It'll be fine. I love you."
On Christmas morning I woke up before Kerri and made my way to the living room. Just as Kerri said last night, her father, an early riser, was awake. I took a seat on the couch and asked him to sit in his recliner. He smiled at me while doing so, which led me to believe that he already had a clue about what was about to happen. Or maybe he found it humorous to see a twenty-five-year-old say to him, "Please, Sir. Sit."
Whatever his reason, had he not smiled I don't believe I would've found the courage to continue.
"Your daughter and I have been living together for a while now and I hope you knew this day was coming. I love your daughter very much, and I want to marry her, and I want to know if that would be okay with you."
This big mischievous grin rolled across his face.
"What would you do if I said no?" her father replied.
"I, well, I guess I would have to respect that...." I stammered out before getting cut off by his laughter.
"Welcome to the family. We'd be happy to have you as a son-in-law," he said as he shook my hand.
Relieved, I confided in him, "Sir, I have the ring in my bag, but I don't know where to propose."
That's when he said something that I will never forget, "When the time is right, you'll know."
"I hope you're right."
I crept back into the bedroom and lay back down in bed to find that Kerri was awake.
"Did you talk to him?" she asked.
"I wanted to, but I chickened out."
"Awww, that's okay, honey," she said with some disappointment in her voice as she hugged me tight again. I spent the next hour thinking of how to propose.
After Christmas dinner, Kerri's father gave her mother her anniversary gift. Their anniversary is the 26th, and her gift was an amethyst set of earrings and matching necklace. As the women in the family all gathered around her gift like moths to a porch light, Kerri's father looked over at me with a look that can only be described as, "Don't you have some jewelry that you want to give?"
I nervously mouthed, "Now?"
And he just shrugged his shoulders, with a look of, "Why not?"
I got up, and as I quickly made my way for my duffel bag, I thought to myself, "Oh, 'when the time is right you'll know?' Right, it's more like 'I'll tell you when the time is right.'"
I found the ring and came back into the kitchen looking very nervous and pale. Kerri took one look at me and asked a very concerned, "What's wrong?"
I grabbed her hand and put it to my chest. "Feel my heart. I'm so nervous right now."
That's when I dropped to one knee in front of her whole family as she covered her mouth and said a muffled, "No, no, no."
Certain that her "no's" were from "No, I can't believe it!" and not "No, I don't want this." I proposed.
"Kerri, I knew I was going to love you forever from the moment I met you, and now I can't imagine my life another day, another minute, without you in it. Will you marry me?"
"YES!!" she screamed as her family cheered. And with Kerri's emphatic response, with that one word, Christmas for me was saved. It turned the holiday I once dreaded, nearly destroyed by a family tragedy, into the holiday when I took the first step in starting a family of my very own.
And it's with misty eyes that I'm reminded of this story every year as Kerri and I sit together watching our son Benjamin open his gifts on Christmas Day.
Although I was depressed, I was still very much in love, and I didn't want to ruin our first Christmas living together. That's when I bought us two bus tickets from Baltimore, Maryland to Charleston, South Carolina. Sure the Scrooge in me wanted to see just how great these Christmases at home were, but also Kerri couldn't have been happier, and I enjoyed making her happy. After all, this was the woman I planned to marry.
Speaking of marriage, we had been talking of getting engaged for months, so I told her, "Maybe this Christmas I'll talk to your father in person about marrying you."
She replied, "This is going to be the best Christmas ever!"
I was hoping she was right. Because unbeknownst to her, I had already bought an engagement ring.
It was now two days before Christmas and that 600-mile ride on the bus was everything you'd expect it to be: cramped, stuffy, long, and kind of miserable. For me, you can add "nerve-wracking" to that list, as my mind was focused on "the talk," then the proposal if "the talk" went well, and the fact that the ring was in my duffel bag under the bus. You had better believe that whenever passengers were beginning or ending their bus trip during our eighteen-hour ride, and bags were coming on and off of the bus, I was pressed against that window watching like a hawk.
That night when we finally arrived in Charleston, and we pulled up to Kerri's parents' house, I saw bright, shiny Christmas lights and lit-up reindeer. We walked inside and everything Kerri spoke of in her many stories was there. And I tried to be as excited as Kerri, but after being on a bus since 5 AM, I was only interested in one thing: sleep.
Christmas Eve was a blur of catching up with Kerri's family, calling her friends to let them know we were in town, and then visiting with some of those friends. Later that night, when Kerri and I were lying in bed, I told her that I thought that tomorrow morning I would finally "talk to him." She cuddled up close, and while still clueless about my plan, she sensed my nervousness and said, "It'll be fine. I love you."
On Christmas morning I woke up before Kerri and made my way to the living room. Just as Kerri said last night, her father, an early riser, was awake. I took a seat on the couch and asked him to sit in his recliner. He smiled at me while doing so, which led me to believe that he already had a clue about what was about to happen. Or maybe he found it humorous to see a twenty-five-year-old say to him, "Please, Sir. Sit."
Whatever his reason, had he not smiled I don't believe I would've found the courage to continue.
"Your daughter and I have been living together for a while now and I hope you knew this day was coming. I love your daughter very much, and I want to marry her, and I want to know if that would be okay with you."
This big mischievous grin rolled across his face.
"What would you do if I said no?" her father replied.
"I, well, I guess I would have to respect that...." I stammered out before getting cut off by his laughter.
"Welcome to the family. We'd be happy to have you as a son-in-law," he said as he shook my hand.
Relieved, I confided in him, "Sir, I have the ring in my bag, but I don't know where to propose."
That's when he said something that I will never forget, "When the time is right, you'll know."
"I hope you're right."
I crept back into the bedroom and lay back down in bed to find that Kerri was awake.
"Did you talk to him?" she asked.
"I wanted to, but I chickened out."
"Awww, that's okay, honey," she said with some disappointment in her voice as she hugged me tight again. I spent the next hour thinking of how to propose.
After Christmas dinner, Kerri's father gave her mother her anniversary gift. Their anniversary is the 26th, and her gift was an amethyst set of earrings and matching necklace. As the women in the family all gathered around her gift like moths to a porch light, Kerri's father looked over at me with a look that can only be described as, "Don't you have some jewelry that you want to give?"
I nervously mouthed, "Now?"
And he just shrugged his shoulders, with a look of, "Why not?"
I got up, and as I quickly made my way for my duffel bag, I thought to myself, "Oh, 'when the time is right you'll know?' Right, it's more like 'I'll tell you when the time is right.'"
I found the ring and came back into the kitchen looking very nervous and pale. Kerri took one look at me and asked a very concerned, "What's wrong?"
I grabbed her hand and put it to my chest. "Feel my heart. I'm so nervous right now."
That's when I dropped to one knee in front of her whole family as she covered her mouth and said a muffled, "No, no, no."
Certain that her "no's" were from "No, I can't believe it!" and not "No, I don't want this." I proposed.
"Kerri, I knew I was going to love you forever from the moment I met you, and now I can't imagine my life another day, another minute, without you in it. Will you marry me?"
"YES!!" she screamed as her family cheered. And with Kerri's emphatic response, with that one word, Christmas for me was saved. It turned the holiday I once dreaded, nearly destroyed by a family tragedy, into the holiday when I took the first step in starting a family of my very own.
And it's with misty eyes that I'm reminded of this story every year as Kerri and I sit together watching our son Benjamin open his gifts on Christmas Day.
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