Learning to Relinquish Control

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Devotional Stories for Women

BY: Jacqueline M. Gaston

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
James 4:6

When I learned I was expecting twins, I was bound and determined to have everything under control. I had the schedules; I had the color-coded clipboards to implement those schedules; I had all the parenting books to refer to; and, I had the baby gear. I was going to be one of those mothers who did it all.

I would work fulltime as well as be a fulltime mother and manager of the household. I was going to maintain my friendships, keep a clean house, cook nutritious meals that everyone would eat without fuss, organize play dates, and take the kids on community outings. Through all of this, I would keep my sanity and look fantastic!

Truthfully, I had a meltdown on the second day back to work. I was balancing the aspects over which I had perceived control in the safe environment of my home, but I did not have that luxury at work.

It became apparent rather quickly that maintaining the household and my career were impossible at the level that I had set for myself. I could not be the teacher and employee that I was before my twins arrived while continuing to be the mother that I had become. Since staying at home was not a financial option for our family, I had to succumb to letting go of my professional aspirations for my familial responsibilities. Initially, I perceived this as failure, but I later learned it was a lesson in humility.

Doing it all perfectly is no longer my priority; just doing what is right for my family is. Now that the twins are exploring the preschool years, I am reminded daily that control is an illusion. The house is never as clean as I had imagined, and meals are chaotic at best. Temper tantrums, public outings, and illnesses remind me that I could not possibly be as clairvoyant as I had planned. But now I'm okay with not having total control. As we get through each day, I realize who really has control over everything.

MY PRAYER

Dear God,
thank you for bringing me to the realization
that perfection in all areas of my life
is not my goal.
I relinquish my need for control
to your care.
I know that you will always give me
the strength to do my best
for my family and my career.

Amen.

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