By Julia Valentine
Let no one who loves be unhappy... even love unreturned has its rainbow.
~James Matthew Barrie
At age sixteen it is hard to see past your first love. It can be all consuming, it can be great, and it can also turn out to be the worst heartbreak you have ever experienced.
Let no one who loves be unhappy... even love unreturned has its rainbow.
~James Matthew Barrie
At age sixteen it is hard to see past your first love. It can be all consuming, it can be great, and it can also turn out to be the worst heartbreak you have ever experienced.
His name was Evan, and he was a friend first. His sister was my best friend all through elementary school, and I always thought that her brother was the coolest guy. They lived just down the hill from me. Sure, Evan would tease us, but when he invited us to hang out with him and his friends we really felt like we were part of the cool kids. His basement, where we would all hang out, had dirty carpet and posters of rock and reggae musicians. Everyone wanted to be around him -- he just had this personality that drew people to him. Everyone wanted to be his friend because he was so smart and always had something interesting or funny to say. He knew everything from dumb movie quotes to philosophy.
He told me that he had never had a girlfriend before, although he was very popular. He just didn't think that girls liked him. But he was so wrong. He was the most attractive person in the world to me. I felt like his personality and mine went so well together. I knew already that I was in love.
We were all hanging out in his basement one night when he took me aside and told me that he had feelings for me. I was ecstatic, and after that we were inseparable. Since it was summer, we spent every moment together for three months. We had so much fun, having sleepover parties with his sister, watching The History Channel, and just talking and laughing all night. Whenever I looked at him I would get this feeling... I knew this wasn't just puppy love. It was real love, and he was my first.
When we finally said that we loved each other, I took it to heart. Then school started back up and our relationship changed. We didn't get to see each other as much, and it killed me. For him, seeing all his friends made him want to spend more time with them and less time with me. I knew I was being too clingy but I couldn't help it. I was still so in love with him and I didn't know how to handle my feelings.
Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control. All I could do was cry. I hated fighting with him and I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't eat or sleep. My parents were so worried about my depression that they checked me into the hospital. They put me in a smock that was pretty much like a burlap sack, gave me a book and a bed, and locked the door. I couldn't use the phone. I wanted to know if Evan and I were breaking up or not. We had fought but there was no resolution.
When I got back, my mom told me that he had been trying to call. She said that he had asked me to come over, and it gave me some hope. I was there in a heartbeat. When I got to his house, he told me he had feelings for another girl. He broke it to me so coldly. I was so angry with him for having feelings for this new girl. How could he leave me for someone else? I felt totally betrayed.
Two weeks after our break-up, I was finally starting to heal when my whole life was flipped upside down. I was watching TV in my living room when I heard the wail of sirens. I saw a parade of police cars going down the hill. I didn't think much about it at first, but when ambulances started coming I really took notice and I retreated to my room to avoid the noise.
A few minutes later my mother came and knocked on my door. She had a very solemn look on her face. "It's about Evan," she told me in a quiet voice.
"I don't want to talk about him, Mom!" I hollered back. I was still so hurt about our break-up. I knew if she brought him up I would start to cry. I had no idea how right I was.
She wouldn't take no for an answer. Then she broke it to me as gently as possible. "He passed away. He passed in his sleep. They think it might have been a brain aneurism."
I was so confused... I didn't know what to think. I was still mad at him for breaking up with me, but the process of forgiveness started right there. How could I be mad when the person I loved had just passed away? I was heartbroken all over again but I began to appreciate all of the things he had done for me. He taught me how to love, and he gave me love in return. A first love is such a huge milestone in someone's life and to have shared that with such an amazing person was a blessing.
He told me that he had never had a girlfriend before, although he was very popular. He just didn't think that girls liked him. But he was so wrong. He was the most attractive person in the world to me. I felt like his personality and mine went so well together. I knew already that I was in love.
We were all hanging out in his basement one night when he took me aside and told me that he had feelings for me. I was ecstatic, and after that we were inseparable. Since it was summer, we spent every moment together for three months. We had so much fun, having sleepover parties with his sister, watching The History Channel, and just talking and laughing all night. Whenever I looked at him I would get this feeling... I knew this wasn't just puppy love. It was real love, and he was my first.
When we finally said that we loved each other, I took it to heart. Then school started back up and our relationship changed. We didn't get to see each other as much, and it killed me. For him, seeing all his friends made him want to spend more time with them and less time with me. I knew I was being too clingy but I couldn't help it. I was still so in love with him and I didn't know how to handle my feelings.
Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control. All I could do was cry. I hated fighting with him and I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't eat or sleep. My parents were so worried about my depression that they checked me into the hospital. They put me in a smock that was pretty much like a burlap sack, gave me a book and a bed, and locked the door. I couldn't use the phone. I wanted to know if Evan and I were breaking up or not. We had fought but there was no resolution.
When I got back, my mom told me that he had been trying to call. She said that he had asked me to come over, and it gave me some hope. I was there in a heartbeat. When I got to his house, he told me he had feelings for another girl. He broke it to me so coldly. I was so angry with him for having feelings for this new girl. How could he leave me for someone else? I felt totally betrayed.
Two weeks after our break-up, I was finally starting to heal when my whole life was flipped upside down. I was watching TV in my living room when I heard the wail of sirens. I saw a parade of police cars going down the hill. I didn't think much about it at first, but when ambulances started coming I really took notice and I retreated to my room to avoid the noise.
A few minutes later my mother came and knocked on my door. She had a very solemn look on her face. "It's about Evan," she told me in a quiet voice.
"I don't want to talk about him, Mom!" I hollered back. I was still so hurt about our break-up. I knew if she brought him up I would start to cry. I had no idea how right I was.
She wouldn't take no for an answer. Then she broke it to me as gently as possible. "He passed away. He passed in his sleep. They think it might have been a brain aneurism."
I was so confused... I didn't know what to think. I was still mad at him for breaking up with me, but the process of forgiveness started right there. How could I be mad when the person I loved had just passed away? I was heartbroken all over again but I began to appreciate all of the things he had done for me. He taught me how to love, and he gave me love in return. A first love is such a huge milestone in someone's life and to have shared that with such an amazing person was a blessing.
http://www.chickensoup.com
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий