вторник, 22 марта 2011 г.

The Little Green Book

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Devotional Stories for Mothers

BY: Shannon Griffin Blair

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
~2 Timothy 1:7

Considering I had never broken a bone, been stung by a bee, or even had one thread stitched through me, the delivery of my son was a terrifying event -- but not just physically. I was also burdened by worry. That first night in the hospital, I stood alone in the gray-blue bathroom listening to my sobs echoing my child's. Why wouldn't he stop crying? How would I get him to eat? What would I do with him when I get home? When would I feel like me again?

These questions and more baffled me, especially since I thought I was more than prepared for Jay's arrival. After all, my husband and I had decorated his nursery, attended showers thrown in our honor, completed a series of birthing classes, and read just about every bestselling baby book on the shelves. Our baby would be the happiest on the block, and we would certainly be baby-wise! Yet there was one book I had not consulted very often throughout my pregnancy, and I needed it more than ever.

While still hiding away in that bathroom, with tears streaming down my cheeks and not knowing where to turn, I suddenly remembered the tiny green Bible I had stashed inside my overnight bag. A man had been handing out free copies of the pocket-sized book on the campus where I teach just the week before. When my water had broken unexpectedly, I began throwing movies, snacks, and clothes into a duffel. Before zipping up, I saw the little book sitting on the counter beside a stack of mail and thought it might come in handy. Little did I know it should have been at the top of my "To Pack" list.

Under the glare of the hospital bathroom's fluorescent lights, I turned to the table of contents. Inside was a reference to key verses for various emotions. It took me some time to pinpoint my feeling, but I knew for certain what to call it when I saw the word "Afraid."

As I read 2 Timothy 1:7, I vowed to rely upon the power of the Holy Spirit that I had forgotten lay within me. I dried my tears and went to the side of my son's bassinet, marveling at the miracle before me. And even though Jay was crying hysterically, my heart's gates finally opened wide enough to allow back in all the love and wonder I had been feeling those nine months prior whenever we heard his heartbeat or watched him twist and turn within my belly. Remembering the words I had just read, I took a deep breath and called in the nurse to give us guidance on how to soothe our precious little one. Within a half-hour, calm had returned.

After that evening, there were and continue to be times when I feel just as clueless and frightened. Simply going grocery shopping for the first time nearly brought me to tears! But instead of shutting myself away in the bathroom to cry, I remind myself to turn to that dog-eared page in the little green book that now rests in Jay's nursery. It is then that I remember the most powerful resource is right at my fingertips.


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