Men are made stronger on realization that the helping hand they need is at the end of their own arm.
~Sidney J. Phillips
It was the coldest of December days. The frigid temperature outside was no match for the icy breeze that came across the telephone line, the words that made me lose my breath and left me sitting on the side of my bed, frozen. “I have to let you go. I can no longer afford to pay you.”
I had barely recovered from the events of the December past, a month in which I was robbed at knifepoint and almost suffocated by my assailant, the same month that my marriage of twenty-two years officially came to an end. That December ended on somewhat of a high note however, with my children and me moving into our new home ready to make a new start.
Now a year later, the day before New Year’s Eve in fact, I received the bone chilling news that I was unemployed. I spent the next three days in a state of depression. Then something inside me began to stir. The spirit that saw me through difficulties, trials and tribulations in the past demanded that I get up and stop feeling sorry for myself.
I had a little bit of money stashed away, an excellent credit history, and a line of credit, so I figured we would be okay until I could find another job. How long could that take? After all, I have a master’s degree. I searched for a job, but to no avail. All the interviews led to the same response — overqualified.
I managed to secure a few freelance jobs in film production and editing. Yet, it was not enough. I swallowed the bitter pill called pride and applied for public assistance.
Though the food stamps helped tremendously, the cash assistance offered was nowhere near enough to sustain a family of six. In addition, in order to receive cash assistance, you had to dedicate thirty hours per week to the EARN Center, a place where you could receive training and assistance in securing a job. I did manage to obtain a position at a newly opened production company through a Pennsylvania work subsidy program, which was supposed to pay my whole salary for the first six months and fifty percent of my salary for the next six months. Unfortunately, this opportunity came at a time when Pennsylvania was experiencing its state budget crisis. My new employer was never reimbursed and ended up letting me go after only one month.
I continued to receive the food stamps, but I could not see the value in devoting thirty hours a week to the EARN program in order to get cash assistance that was not enough to meet my family’s needs, so I did not reapply. I decided to try to go it on my own one more time.
I took out cash advances in an attempt to keep up with my bills, and I even received a generous gift of fifteen hundred dollars from my dear friend Angelique. But just like the ground that eventually becomes parched for a lack of nourishing rain, everything began to dry up — my resources, my opportunities, and my hope. Over two years later, I found myself facing a fate that was far worse than losing a job; I was about to lose my home.
I knew about a program that offered rental assistance to people who were having trouble paying their rent, so I applied, only to find out that they were out of funds. I was told, however, that there was another program in the city I could look into and given the number to call. I called and was told to come into the office immediately, which I did.
I arrived with my hope soaring. I sat for four hours. When my number was called, I was informed that there were no housing counselors available and that I would have to come back Monday morning.
I stomped down the street full of fury. They could have told me on the phone that there were no counselors! I vowed that I would not return to that place. Then, from the recesses of my mind, images of my children’s faces appeared, as if to remind me that this was not about me. I had to do this for them. In a moment of epiphany, I was reminded that sometimes life doesn’t give you what you want or need immediately. So on Monday morning, I returned as instructed.
This time, when my number was called, I was greeted by the program manager for the City’s Homeless Prevention and Rapid Re-Housing Program. She explained that she was filling in for an intake worker who had called out sick. During my intake interview, she was having trouble navigating through the screens on the computer, so I began to help her. At the end of my intake, she informed me that I was eligible to receive the assistance. Then she asked me a question that rang in my ears like the sweetest melody I had ever heard: Do you have a résumé?
I e-mailed her my résumé as soon as I get home that afternoon. I interviewed two weeks later. Then, on August 9, 2010, I began working for the City of Philadelphia’s Homeless Prevention and Rapid Re-Housing Program.
It is two years later. I am still here, and I am so grateful. Grateful that I am able to lend my gifts and talents to a program that continues to help people in the position that I once found myself in. Grateful I was able to overcome another obstacle in this journey called life.
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