By Beth Arvin
My divorce thirty years ago left me more than heartsick, it left me sick in spirit. The first years as a single parent were lonely and frightening, my self-esteem falling to an all-time low. It wasn't long before I noticed a sharp rise in my blood pressure and more frequent headaches. The constant stress settled into my body, especially in my neck and across my shoulders and upper back. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. As my body aches increased, so did my feelings of despair and failure. When I signed up for life insurance and had a medical checkup my blood pressure was so dangerously high I was almost turned down. I was overwhelmed and my life reflected it.
My divorce thirty years ago left me more than heartsick, it left me sick in spirit. The first years as a single parent were lonely and frightening, my self-esteem falling to an all-time low. It wasn't long before I noticed a sharp rise in my blood pressure and more frequent headaches. The constant stress settled into my body, especially in my neck and across my shoulders and upper back. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. As my body aches increased, so did my feelings of despair and failure. When I signed up for life insurance and had a medical checkup my blood pressure was so dangerously high I was almost turned down. I was overwhelmed and my life reflected it.
One day I was visiting my parents and my dad told me how hard it was to see me so sad. "Your marriage was so unhappy, I was hoping that you would bounce back after your divorce. I think you've forgotten how to be happy. You have two terrific kids and a family that loves you. Why are you still so sad all the time?" my dad asked. I was surprised by the question, but more shocked because I had no answer. The question continued to haunt me as I drove home and later, after I put the children to bed, I made a cup of tea and began thinking about how to change my mental outlook.
There were certainly difficulties to overcome, but many things in my life were wonderful and I wasn't making time to enjoy them. I began to take walks with my sister, taking time to notice the simple beauty of a field of buttercups or the sight of Mount Rainier on a clear summer day. Beauty was all around me, but I was so self-absorbed I no longer noticed. I began to spend more time laughing with my children and seeking activities we could enjoy together within our limited budget. My headaches became less frequent and my blood pressure slowly improved.
At a meeting with the pastor of my church, I told him how I had gotten into such a terrible depression and mentioned to him that I felt it would be good for me to do some kind of volunteer work. "I think it will help me to get outside of myself and look at the bigger picture," I told him. He thought it was a good idea and encouraged me to do some volunteer work with the church's youth. It was fun to work with the teenagers, helping them to put on plays for special events. Their sense of humor and high spirits lifted my mood.
As my outlook became more positive I became more interested in exercise and healthy eating. I took a beginning yoga class, trying to get back the flexibility I had when I was younger. I had always wanted to learn to tap dance, so at the age of forty I signed up for a beginning tap class for adults. Each new adventure brought more people into my life and I found new confidence. It wasn't an immediate transformation for me, but a steady improvement. For the first time in years I was having fun.
My health continued to improve, my blood pressure returned to normal, and my headaches became infrequent and less intense. I began hiking and camping with my children, an activity we had enjoyed before the divorce, which took us out into the fresh air and helped us bond as a family. The hiking increased my stamina, leaving me feeling strong and empowered. My tense body eased and I began to feel like the person I once was, only new and improved.
My health has continued to be strong, although a traumatic car accident did set me back a bit several years ago. I battled through that difficult time, learning anew the power of accepting what I cannot change and appreciating the good things that make up the majority of my life. One of the nicest things about changing my life was the number of people who were inspired to do the same thing. It is my experience that when you begin to live in a more positive frame of mind, that positive outlook spreads to others. Not only has my health benefited from thinking positively, my life growing richer and more fulfilling, but others around me have found greater joy as well. Believing in the power of positive can heal your body and restore your spirit.
There were certainly difficulties to overcome, but many things in my life were wonderful and I wasn't making time to enjoy them. I began to take walks with my sister, taking time to notice the simple beauty of a field of buttercups or the sight of Mount Rainier on a clear summer day. Beauty was all around me, but I was so self-absorbed I no longer noticed. I began to spend more time laughing with my children and seeking activities we could enjoy together within our limited budget. My headaches became less frequent and my blood pressure slowly improved.
At a meeting with the pastor of my church, I told him how I had gotten into such a terrible depression and mentioned to him that I felt it would be good for me to do some kind of volunteer work. "I think it will help me to get outside of myself and look at the bigger picture," I told him. He thought it was a good idea and encouraged me to do some volunteer work with the church's youth. It was fun to work with the teenagers, helping them to put on plays for special events. Their sense of humor and high spirits lifted my mood.
As my outlook became more positive I became more interested in exercise and healthy eating. I took a beginning yoga class, trying to get back the flexibility I had when I was younger. I had always wanted to learn to tap dance, so at the age of forty I signed up for a beginning tap class for adults. Each new adventure brought more people into my life and I found new confidence. It wasn't an immediate transformation for me, but a steady improvement. For the first time in years I was having fun.
My health continued to improve, my blood pressure returned to normal, and my headaches became infrequent and less intense. I began hiking and camping with my children, an activity we had enjoyed before the divorce, which took us out into the fresh air and helped us bond as a family. The hiking increased my stamina, leaving me feeling strong and empowered. My tense body eased and I began to feel like the person I once was, only new and improved.
My health has continued to be strong, although a traumatic car accident did set me back a bit several years ago. I battled through that difficult time, learning anew the power of accepting what I cannot change and appreciating the good things that make up the majority of my life. One of the nicest things about changing my life was the number of people who were inspired to do the same thing. It is my experience that when you begin to live in a more positive frame of mind, that positive outlook spreads to others. Not only has my health benefited from thinking positively, my life growing richer and more fulfilling, but others around me have found greater joy as well. Believing in the power of positive can heal your body and restore your spirit.
http://www.chickensoup.com
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий