My Own Path

By Renea Winchester

One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.
~Sidney Howard

I broke up with Josh three weeks before the senior prom. We had been dating for almost a year. He had graduated the previous year and landed a good job. Josh was ready for marriage and a family.

I wasn't.

His dreams included two children, a boy we would name Joshua, a girl named Jessica. We would have dogs, horses, boats, cars, and of course, live happily after. Each time we discussed our future, I became more nervous. I thought we were too young for marriage. My room was filled with college applications and towers of books. I dreamed of becoming a lawyer, or maybe a veterinarian, not a wife and mother. I wanted him to wait while I walked my own path for a while. I didn't want to break Josh's heart, but I did.

Emily handed me tissues as I told her about the break-up. Of my four friends, she was the one I came to when I needed comfort. Emily understood that I wanted to pursue my dreams. She nodded and agreed with my decision. I thought the rest of my girlfriends would support my decision. I never dreamed that they would take his side.

But they did... even Emily.

Once news of the break-up spread I was somehow transformed from best friend to heartless villain. One by one, my friends stopped speaking to me. Two weeks before the prom -- four weeks before graduation -- during what was supposed to have been the best year of my life, I walked the halls of my high school without a single friend.

I didn't mention the break-up to my parents. Looking back, I should have. At least I would have had someone to talk to. Instead, the day before the prom I announced that I would be going stag.

"What about the party?" Mother had asked, referring to the pre-prom party she and I had been planning for weeks.

"We decided to do something else," I replied.

Mom frowned but said nothing.

When you're a senior in high school, the worst thing that can happen isn't breaking up with your boyfriend, it's posing for prom pictures alone. Or so I thought. After the humiliating photo, I entered the ballroom just as the lights dimmed. I tried to ignore my ex-friends who were gathered in the corner of the room. The music started, and a sea of taffeta gowns parted, revealing a smiling Josh. Excited dancers jostled against me as I stood frozen to the floor, my mouth ajar.

Then reality hit me.

My ex-boyfriend Josh was at the prom with my ex-friend Emily. Their matching tuxedo-taffeta ensemble was my first clue. Emily attached at his hip was my second. I acted like it didn't hurt.

But it did.

Anthony, a graduate from three years ago, who was majoring in law enforcement and moonlighting as prom security, took pity on me and asked me to dance. Then the foreign exchange student followed his lead. The rest is a blur of tear-drenched memories.

After my ex-friends had surrounded me and danced with my ex-boyfriend, I left the prom. The temptation to drink away my worries was great. Everyone knew where the after-prom party was. In fact, several of the students had bypassed the prom and gone directly to the party after having their picture taken. I was already the laughing stock at school. I was in no mood to embarrass myself further by getting drunk and ruining the only thing that remained intact -- my good name.

I drove home, took the stairs two at a time, and slammed my bedroom door. I ignored Mother's worried knock and spent the rest of the night in bed with my face buried in my stuffed animals.

I awoke the following morning, a mess of blue silk and black mascara.

Mother cracked the bedroom door wide enough to extend the telephone. "It's Lisa," she whispered.

I sat up and held a stuffed Garfield to my stomach. "Hey," Lisa said the moment she heard my wilted corsage rustle against the phone, "I'm sorry about what happened at the prom."

I nodded on my end, but didn't respond.

"Look. I don't understand what happened," she said. "Everyone was upset because Josh seemed so hurt about you breaking up with him. Things got out of control. I'm really sorry."


From where I stood, Josh hadn't looked upset last night.

I wiped a tear. "You know Lisa," I said my voice breaking. "I didn't break up with my friends. I broke up with him."

I imagined the discussion Lisa had with my ex-friends on my behalf. Even in elementary school, when the school bully sought me out, Lisa had been the peacemaker. We had been together since kindergarten. Deep inside, I wanted to ask how many minutes had passed before Josh asked Emily to the prom. But it didn't matter. Right now nothing mattered.

"I just wanted you to know I'm sorry and I would like to put this behind us... if you're okay with that." Lisa said.

An hour later, Lisa arrived at my house with a box of Heavenly Hash ice cream. Our friendship resumed where we left off. Gradually, my ex-friends returned, except for Emily.

She and Josh walked down the aisle shortly after graduation, and I started walking my own path.

http://www.chickensoup.com