By Heidi Patton
The time is always right to do what is right.
~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Nothing said in this room will leave this room. We are a family tonight, and this is an unbreakable circle of trust."
The time is always right to do what is right.
~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Nothing said in this room will leave this room. We are a family tonight, and this is an unbreakable circle of trust."
I laid my head down on my pillow and squeezed my stuffed animal closer to my chest, preparing for the pain and tears I knew were to come. I was going to spend the next few hours of the five-day leadership camp in an activity called Boundary Breaking, during which I would discover the dreams, fears, secrets and struggles of eighteen other high school students, all of whom I had known for a total of two and a half days. I would be expected to completely open myself up to these people, a thought that made me squirm with discomfort.
The questions started off easy, more like icebreakers than the deeply personal questions I was expecting. Yet with each question, I could sense my connection with the members of the group growing, and together we could feel the atmosphere in the room changing. As the intensity of our new relationship increased, so did the intensity in which we responded to the progressively more intimate questioning. Questions such as "What do you fear most?" and "What has been the most difficult time in your life?" began to draw tears from some members of the group.
However, it was the next question that brought out the most powerful responses of the night: "What is something that you wish everyone knew about you, before they could ever judge your character?" our senior counselor Jon asked the group.
A flood of stories was unleashed; stories of abuse, bitter divorce, suicide and depression caused even our strongest members to succumb to tears. I did my best to stop the torrent of tears flowing down my own face when it was my turn to speak. With little knowledge of what I was going to say, I began.
"What I wish people could know about me is that... I have three gay uncles. They have had so many challenges to overcome because of their sexual orientation. The last thing they need is for people to disrespect their lifestyle in their everyday language. I can't stand it when people call something "gay" when they don't like it. I wish people knew that their word choice hurts me, and it hurts my family." I choked out the last line through my renewed tears. Several people put their arms around me and patted my back.
I felt my previously shaking hands steady themselves as I realized what I had finally been able to share. I had never stood up against the use of offensive words before, even though they bothered me immensely. I had always assumed, as I still did for the next several days, that speaking out would make no difference; people would continue to use these words no matter what I had to say about it. However, this idea changed when I checked my mailbox two days later and found a note from a girl in my group who I had not spoken to very much.
"I want to thank you. You've changed my life and made me realize I have been offending people with my words. You've made it clear to me that I need to change and I'm going to."
I sat in stunned silence as tears once again filled my eyes. For the first time in my sixteen years I felt like I had affected change. I was able to stop one person from offending people with her words, and from that experience I gained the belief that I can stop more than just one person. I am no longer scared to stand up for what I believe in. I know now that all it takes is one story and one person willing to listen to make change happen.
The questions started off easy, more like icebreakers than the deeply personal questions I was expecting. Yet with each question, I could sense my connection with the members of the group growing, and together we could feel the atmosphere in the room changing. As the intensity of our new relationship increased, so did the intensity in which we responded to the progressively more intimate questioning. Questions such as "What do you fear most?" and "What has been the most difficult time in your life?" began to draw tears from some members of the group.
However, it was the next question that brought out the most powerful responses of the night: "What is something that you wish everyone knew about you, before they could ever judge your character?" our senior counselor Jon asked the group.
A flood of stories was unleashed; stories of abuse, bitter divorce, suicide and depression caused even our strongest members to succumb to tears. I did my best to stop the torrent of tears flowing down my own face when it was my turn to speak. With little knowledge of what I was going to say, I began.
"What I wish people could know about me is that... I have three gay uncles. They have had so many challenges to overcome because of their sexual orientation. The last thing they need is for people to disrespect their lifestyle in their everyday language. I can't stand it when people call something "gay" when they don't like it. I wish people knew that their word choice hurts me, and it hurts my family." I choked out the last line through my renewed tears. Several people put their arms around me and patted my back.
I felt my previously shaking hands steady themselves as I realized what I had finally been able to share. I had never stood up against the use of offensive words before, even though they bothered me immensely. I had always assumed, as I still did for the next several days, that speaking out would make no difference; people would continue to use these words no matter what I had to say about it. However, this idea changed when I checked my mailbox two days later and found a note from a girl in my group who I had not spoken to very much.
"I want to thank you. You've changed my life and made me realize I have been offending people with my words. You've made it clear to me that I need to change and I'm going to."
I sat in stunned silence as tears once again filled my eyes. For the first time in my sixteen years I felt like I had affected change. I was able to stop one person from offending people with her words, and from that experience I gained the belief that I can stop more than just one person. I am no longer scared to stand up for what I believe in. I know now that all it takes is one story and one person willing to listen to make change happen.
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