By Betty King
Divorce is hard on everyone. Sometimes we forget how hard it can be on animals.
Divorce is hard on everyone. Sometimes we forget how hard it can be on animals.
Our son and his wife divorced a few years ago. Many of us in the family were devastated, including Missy and Dena. Missy is our Dandi Dinmont Terrier. Dena, a Rat Terrier, belonged to our son's family. Though the dogs are both terriers, they looked and acted nothing alike. The only similarity was that they both came from homes where they were loved like a member of the family.
Dena had been my son's dog, but when the divorce became final he decided Dena should stay with his ex-wife and their little girl. After all, Dena was very fond of my granddaughter and they would be staying in the family home.
In the past, when my son and his family took trips or would be gone for the day, Dena would come to stay with us. Though of different breeds and personalities, she and our Missy learned to enjoy the overnight slumber parties and became fast friends.
Chasing each other around the family room couch became a routine game. They nearly wore a path as they chased each other, first one way and then the other, barking and then veering out, making the chase include the whole house. Everyone stayed out of their way, until they found a spot to recover from their exhaustion, tongues hanging out. They made us adults chuckle and my granddaughter giggle.
Dena often came along when my son's family had just dropped by for a short visit. She was, after all, a member of the family and Missy looked forward to her coming over.
Then the day came when the family separated and Dena's visits became less frequent. Eventually, they ceased completely. Missy knew things had changed. She didn't have anyone to chase and she often lay on the floor looking forlorn.
Life moved on and eventually both my ex-daughter-in-law and my son married new partners. They remained friends, which made my granddaughter's life less complicated. It also made life for us adults less stressful, as we adjusted to the changes in the family. We became accustomed to new people, and the absence of others.
One day, after our granddaughter's visit, we took her back to her mother's house. We had not yet been to the new home of my ex-daughter-in-law and her recent husband. We decided to take Missy along for a ride and thought she would enjoy seeing her old friend Dena.
When we pulled the car into the driveway, my husband took our granddaughter to the front door. Dena flew out! Missy was beside herself with excitement! There was a reunion in the driveway that day that was equivalent to any tear-jerker reunion you ever saw. Two friends who had been torn apart for no reason of their own, had been left wondering what had happened to the other. They had been given no explanation to satisfy their understanding.
The humans in their lives had mourned their losses and moved on with a new understanding of change. It made me realize that our animals mourn losses too, and most of the time, they are left to grieve without ever knowing what went wrong.
Dena had been my son's dog, but when the divorce became final he decided Dena should stay with his ex-wife and their little girl. After all, Dena was very fond of my granddaughter and they would be staying in the family home.
In the past, when my son and his family took trips or would be gone for the day, Dena would come to stay with us. Though of different breeds and personalities, she and our Missy learned to enjoy the overnight slumber parties and became fast friends.
Chasing each other around the family room couch became a routine game. They nearly wore a path as they chased each other, first one way and then the other, barking and then veering out, making the chase include the whole house. Everyone stayed out of their way, until they found a spot to recover from their exhaustion, tongues hanging out. They made us adults chuckle and my granddaughter giggle.
Dena often came along when my son's family had just dropped by for a short visit. She was, after all, a member of the family and Missy looked forward to her coming over.
Then the day came when the family separated and Dena's visits became less frequent. Eventually, they ceased completely. Missy knew things had changed. She didn't have anyone to chase and she often lay on the floor looking forlorn.
Life moved on and eventually both my ex-daughter-in-law and my son married new partners. They remained friends, which made my granddaughter's life less complicated. It also made life for us adults less stressful, as we adjusted to the changes in the family. We became accustomed to new people, and the absence of others.
One day, after our granddaughter's visit, we took her back to her mother's house. We had not yet been to the new home of my ex-daughter-in-law and her recent husband. We decided to take Missy along for a ride and thought she would enjoy seeing her old friend Dena.
When we pulled the car into the driveway, my husband took our granddaughter to the front door. Dena flew out! Missy was beside herself with excitement! There was a reunion in the driveway that day that was equivalent to any tear-jerker reunion you ever saw. Two friends who had been torn apart for no reason of their own, had been left wondering what had happened to the other. They had been given no explanation to satisfy their understanding.
The humans in their lives had mourned their losses and moved on with a new understanding of change. It made me realize that our animals mourn losses too, and most of the time, they are left to grieve without ever knowing what went wrong.
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