BY: Michelle Rocker
"Be still, and know that I am God..."
Ever have one of those days... weeks... months when your children drain you of every bit of energy you have? As a mom of four, there are many days when I think I just can't handle one more thing. In a span of just a month, I had to rush two of my children to the ER -- one for sticking a barrette in her ear and the other with a middle ear infection. The week before, I had another one with a bladder infection and made the appointment for my fourth one with his counselor for anxiety attacks. There is no magic pill for "Worn-Out Mommy Month." That old commercial, "Calgon, take me away," just doesn't cut it. I wanted a limo to come and whisk me away to a five-star hotel with room service. I longed for my world to quit careening out of control.
One night after my husband got home from work, I told him it was absolutely necessary for me to get away for a little bit. Seeing the raving lunatic under the surface, he quickly sent me on my way, and I left for the beach.
One of the blessings of living in Florida is the beach. You walk on the sand and it feels like an instant vacation. I walked to a secluded spot and plopped down on a little hill, close enough to watch the waves come in, but far enough to not get wet. Then I let God have it. I told Him about my awful month. I told Him how unfair it was. Then a scripture popped into my head (not by accident, I'm sure).
"Be still, and know that I am God..." (Psalm 46:10).
Sarcastically, I said, "Okay, I'm being still and knowing you are God."
I folded my arms around my knees and watched the waves. A soothing calm permeated my body as the waves came in and out. I slowly worked out my kinked muscles and overloaded brain. I closed my eyes and relaxed. About that time, I heard a wave that sounded as if it was going to get me all wet. I opened my eyes and saw it was about a foot away. Immediately, God spoke.
"Michelle, you don't trust me."
I brushed it off and closed my eyes again. I heard another wave and opened my eyes, afraid that I was fixing to get wet. God spoke to me a second time.
"See, you don't trust me."
True to my stubborn form, I told God that it was just a stupid wave. He informed me that wasn't the point.
Rolling my eyes, I closed them. God told me to listen to the waves. Whenever I heard the froth of a wave bubbling near me, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to peek. The next one came, and I relaxed. As each wave came and left without touching me, God began speaking to my heart.
Oftentimes, life can be so loud that we forget to sneak in quiet time. Wave after wave comes, and we feel like we are soaking in frustration and anxiety. I walked away from the beach that day knowing that God would take care of this mother's anxiety and worn-out body. The waves are inevitable, but if am still before Him, He will keep them from overwhelming me.